Stupid Girl

So I got my rejection call the other day. My phone buzzes and I see the UNT Brand Manager’s name on the caller ID. I know before I flip my phone that I didn’t get the job. I know this because it’s 6:08 PM and you don't usually get a congratulations call from a new employer at the end of a work day. That time slot is reserved for the sad saps who didn’t make the cut.

After I hung up with Ms. Brand Manager, I thought about the gaffs I had committed during the interview process. I don’t know anyone who likes to interview, and most people have some degree of regret over something they could have done better. I like to think that I give it a pretty good go most of the time. But sometimes I tend to throw myself right under the bus - to take an interview that's going well and then say something utterly regrettable and usually idiotic.

So I share with you a couple of not so fine moments from my recent UNT experience:

Interviewer:
“How do you think your LEED AP credential will help you with this job?”

Me:
“Probably not at all. I don’t think there would be any use for it.”

Ok, first of all, this is a fine example of me completely forgetting the Golden Rule of interviewing that no matter what is plucked from your resume, you have to make it relate to the job. Example: “How would you parlay your skill at making chimichangas into this position as an outside sales rep?” Answer: “Well, sir, like choosing the right mix of meat, vegetables and spices for a chimichanga, I would make sure I presented only the tastiest features of this Torso Track 500 to my future clients – the cushy foam kneepad, squeekless pulley coil and ergonomical hand grips.”

I did, however, go back later in the interview and toot my AP horn. A tad late at that point.

At the closing of my second UNT interview, a good hour and a half after establishing a great rapport with Mr. Director of Integrated Marketing, we began to wrap it up and he tells me I’m one of the top three candidates. A normal human being would simply give a humble acknowledgement and thank the interviewer for sharing that tidbit. So what did I say?

“Am I at the top of the top 3 or the middle?”

D'oh! Classic WTF moment. Instant remorse. It was simply another of thousands of times in my life when internal monologue came tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop it. I could feel my cheeks blazing and my armpits dampening the instant I asked that uber-tacky question. I hadn't even meant to preclude myself from being at the bottom of the top 3, but I did, and therefore sounded like a cocky jackass instead of just a jackass. The interviewer, in response, simply paused for a second and repeated “You’re in the top three.” It didn’t help that he was a rather dry man who was a poker-face master. He had smiled maybe two and a half times during the interview, but that wasn’t one of the times. I wanted to punch myself in the nose.

So… there you go. If you would like to share some of your moments of interview shame, please feel free to use this forum.